Why am I anxious? Are there times when you ask yourself this question?
Anxiety is often caused by micro-habits that we don’t even notice, but build up over time. So let’s troubleshoot, today we’re going to explore 7 common reasons why someone might feel anxious without realizing the cause. These are the things I might explore with a client in the second session or thereabouts. If you want, you can print off the worksheet that I’m using, and fill it out right now. The link is in the description. As we go through the questions, if you find yourself answering more than 4 from any category with “Yes”, then that’s a sign to explore that category and to try the skills and free resources that I’ll share in the worksheet.
But first a disclaimer. Though I wish I could get to know each of you, I am not your therapist and this is not a formal assessment. It’s just a chance to explore your anxiety. Let’s jump in.
Worksheet Exercise: Is it worry?
OK, so that was 7 questions. If you answered yes to more than 4 of them, that might be a sign that worry is underlying your anxiety.
Worry is a habit, it’s a mental behavior that we actively engage in. When we worry, we bring to mind thoughts of danger, which trigger a stress response in our body. Worry is one of the most common causes of General Anxiety Disorder. But if you tell someone “Stop worrying” that just doesn’t work. So what does work instead? In the download I will give you links to 4 skills you can use.
But now, let’s explore 6 more categories that cause anxiety.
Worksheet Exercise: Is it your body?
Stress is the physical part of anxiety, it’s the nervous system activation of the Fight or Flight response. What’s cool is that we can treat anxiety from both directions, the cognitive aspect and the physical aspect. Taking care of our body with proper sleep, exercise and nutrition can decrease anxiety more effectively than medication, and good nutrition has been shown to decrease our risk of anxiety by 30-40%. I teach these skills, and the harder part, how to implement change, in my course “Change your brain” but I also have free videos you can watch linked in the worksheet.
Let’s keep going.
Worksheet Exercise: Is it overwhelm?
Anxiety is essentially a fear response, and when we have too many things going on at once our body and brain perceive this as a threat. Multitasking, crowded calendars, and too many commitments trigger our ancient survival responses into thinking that we are going to starve or something. So if we want to manage anxiety, we have to create a sustainable approach to productivity.
Worksheet Exercise: Is it avoidance?
If you’re confused about the last one, I have like ten videos on it, but here’s the litmus test, if you’re using coping skills to try to not feel anxious that’s avoidance, if you’re using coping skills to help you get better at having feelings so that you can live a purposeful life, that’s healthy. Moving on:
Worksheet Exercise: Is it trauma? Unresolved emotional issues?
Trauma does two things. First, it can physically change our brain and nervous system to make us more sensitive to stress. And second, triggers and memories of trauma can make us more anxious in the present moment. But there are practical skills you can learn to work through it. As always, links in the worksheet.
OK, now let’s check your thinking patterns to see if your thoughts are lying to you
Worksheet Exercise: Is it perfectionism and self-judgment?
Worksheet Exercise: Is it catastrophizing?
Thinking patterns like perfectionism and catastrophizing can trick our mind into thinking that we’re in danger when we’re not. And this can make people feel anxious without knowing why, because we believe what we think- we don’t really notice that our thoughts are fueling our anxiety. You can learn to change how you think, and that can directly decrease anxiety.
OK, so those are the 7 categories I might explore if someone is anxious and they don’t know why. I think it’s normal for most people to have a “Yes” here and there in a few of the categories, but if you’ve got majority “Yes’s” in one category, that might be a good place to start. In the downloadable worksheet I’ve linked 4-5 skills you can learn to improve in each area. You could download my simple habit tracker, work on one of those skills for a month, and when you feel like you’ve got a hang of it, you can pick another skill to build.
But what if you have tons of yeses in multiple categories? That’s ok, I would say, just start with one area that seems either the easiest to work on, or the most pressing area. For me, I love to exercise, so that would be my first area to work on because it’s easy but also, likely to help out quickly. But also, when my calendar is too full, that really stresses me out. So because that adds so much to my stress, that would be my second area to work on. What’s important is that you pick the low-hanging fruit, start with the small changes that make a big difference, and it will really start to add up over time. I mean, this is how your anxiety built up, in tiny little habits that you didn’t notice, so this is how we’ll replace it with calm and order, just making one small change at a time.
In working with my own clients, I’ve seen that these tiny habits can add up over time to help you feel more calm, centered and in control of your life.
Click the link below to access the course, Break the Anxiety Cycle in 30 Days.
