Toxic stress isn’t just having too much to do—it’s getting stuck in the Freeze Response, and this can fuel depression. When overwhelmed by stress, trauma, or global problems, our brain may default to the freeze response—shutting down, avoiding, or numbing out. While this can feel comforting short-term, over time it dysregulates the nervous system, increases cortisol, and fuels anxiety and depression. Stress is meant to mobilize us to act; suppressing that drive makes it toxic.
Keep reading to learn the research about how small, purposeful actions restore flow, re-engaging the prefrontal cortex, calming the limbic system, and activating the ventral vagus nerve. This is where service for mental health shines. Helping others boosts dopamine, oxytocin, and resilience, breaking the freeze cycle. Acts of kindness, whether raking a neighbor’s yard, volunteering, or donating, create the “helper’s high” and increase well-being. Service brings purpose, which turns discomfort into joy. Even brief, local, face-to-face kindness reduces loneliness and strengthens connection. You don’t have to solve everything—consistent small actions aligned with your values can transform toxic stress into healthy engagement, proving that even little ripples can change the world.
How to Overcome the Freeze Response When Others Suffer
Here’s my unpopular opinion for the day: toxic stress isn’t caused by having too much to do—it’s caused by inaction. Stick with me here.
It’s easy to feel like the world is going to hell in a handbasket. It can seem so overwhelming to see the suffering caused by injustice, corruption or war. Or maybe you’re overwhelmed by problems at home or at work. Sometimes it makes me want to curl up in bed and hide. This is a natural response to seeing so many problems around us. The good news is that you can overcome the freeze response and turn toxic stress into healthy action.
Why Inaction Fuels Toxic Stress in the Nervous System
When we’re overwhelmed by stress or trauma—even when it’s another person’s pain—our brain can go into a freeze response. This is part of our built-in survival system. Fight, flight, freeze—it’s what helps us survive real danger.
But in modern life, this freeze often shows up as shutdown, avoidance, or numbness. Let’s be honest. When the world feels stressful, inaction can feel comforting. You know what I mean, watching The Office for the 100th time or scrolling instagram just hoping to see more funny animal videos.
For a little while, this inaction feels better than the stress. But the longer we stay stuck in that freeze response, the more dysregulated our nervous system becomes. It’s like what happened here, when they took a flowing river and dammed it up. We had all this stress energy, and we just shut down. Like stagnant water, our thoughts become cloudy. Rumination takes over. Anxiety grows. Depression deepens. And we feel more helpless and hopeless.
Inaction sends a message to the brain: “We’re not safe. I can’t handle this.” And the body listens.
This is why people who are stuck in chronic stress or depression often describe feeling powerless, trapped, or numb. It’s not just psychological—it’s neurological.
And here’s why. Stress isn’t just some disordered part of our brain. It’s actually a super healthy physiological response that is supposed to prime us to take action to solve a problem. But, when you suppress that drive too long, your nervous system interprets the situation as hopeless, and that’s what makes stress toxic. Suppression and inaction actually increase cortisol, disrupt your sleep, weaken your immune system, and make you more anxious or depressed.
So what do we do instead? How do we stop shutting down, freezing up and just numbing ourselves to the pain of it all?
You can learn to overcome this freeze response. You can learn to manage these fears in a healthy way, and at the risk of sounding like a complete granola (which I am), let’s keep thinking about this river to show us how to get unstuck.
How Action Pulls Your Nervous System Out of the Freeze Response
I was recently walking along a river that was dammed a year or two ago to restore the ancient river delta. They diverted the flow to restore the ecosystem for birds, native plants and an endangered fish. (Yes it’s called the June sucker, and this is the only place in the world it exists.) Now check out the flowing river. It’s clean, it’s vibrant, and even if it encounters obstacles, it keeps moving.
Taking action—even small, imperfect, messy action—starts to create this kind of movement in the nervous system.
There’s a lot of neuroscience behind this.
Action re-engages the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that helps with planning, logic, and decision-making. It also sends signals to your limbic system, saying, “We’re okay. We’re capable.”
And movement—literal physical movement—activates the ventral vagus nerve, which is responsible for feelings of safety and connection.
Your little action might be going for a walk, getting dressed, writing a journal entry, saying one kind sentence to yourself, making that doctor’s appointment, or helping someone else. (I’ll come back to that one in a minute.) The technical term for this is behavioral activation, and it’s one of the most impactful treatments for depression.
These actions don’t erase suffering. But they restore flow. They tell your nervous system: “I’m not stuck. I can move. I have some control here.” And this action is best when it’s taking even a small step toward solving the problem.
This is how we shift out of that freeze response—out of the stagnant pond—and back into the activated, connected state.
Service for Mental Health: How Helping Others Reduces Depression and Anxiety
Okay, so what do we do about all the negative news dropping the world’s suffering on your screen? First of all, I recommend finding ways to limit your consumption of news. But you can’t block out others’ pain completely, nor should you. Compassion is part of connection.
When you feel empty, when you feel worried, when you see someone suffering, one of the absolute best things you can do is to take some action to make the world a better place.
John Roedel wrote about the beautiful effects of becoming a helper.
Here’s the neuroscience behind it.
Taking meaningful action literally shifts your nervous system out of freeze mode and into activation mode, a healthier response to stress. It boosts dopamine, which helps with motivation and energy. Helping others increases oxytocin, which calms the nervous system and increases connection. This euphoric feeling is sometimes referred to as the “helper’s high”. And the best part is, it doesn’t just feel good—it actually creates goodness in the world.
I remember one week this summer where I was feeling stressed, overwhelmed with responsibilities, and pretty tired. In my church we are all assigned another church member to befriend, to support and help them if they need. That evening when I was tired, my person reached out to me and asked if I could help her in her yard. She needed to get the dirt raked to prep for laying sod before they left for a trip. I spent the next two hours raking dirt. And you know what? I felt so happy. We chatted and raked and sweated and I just felt so much joy. My previous heavy mood lifted.
Think about your own experiences. When has helping someone helped you feel joy in your life? What small action did you take toward kindness? How did that make you feel?]
The science shows that even small altruistic actions, like volunteering, donating, or doing small acts of kindness, can increase positive emotions. One study reported in the journal Social Science and Medicine found that people who volunteer regularly report higher well-being and lower depression, especially when their motivation is genuine. I really feel like this is the missing key. In all the psych videos you watch, or all the therapy sessions you attend, have they told you how happy service can make you?
I’ve seen this time and again working with someone with severe depression or anxiety. We can talk all day about their thinking patterns, and that does some good. But as soon as they start serving someone else, purposefully, the light comes back to their eyes.
Service is good for your mental health, not because it’s easy, but because it’s purposeful. So much of the messaging about mental health focuses on helping you feel more comfortable, and self-care, and making your emotions go away. But if I had to choose between comfort and purpose, I’d choose purpose every time.
When we have a purpose, it metabolizes discomfort into joy.
Breaking the Freeze Response When Change Feels Impossible
You might ask, “But what if my effort seems too small in the face of the world’s problems?” That inner voice whispers, “What’s the point? My actions won’t make a difference. I don’t have time/energy/money to make a dent in the world’s problems.”
This self-protective little voice tries to shield us, but it also keeps us stuck in freeze. And you guys, this voice shows up for me all the time, so I constantly quote Margaret Mead in my head:
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
We’re going to channel all this stress and fear into action.
Service for Mental Health: Small Actions to Ease Toxic Stress
Now I’m not saying we should just run around like chickens with their heads cut off, frantically trying to fix everything in the world. That’s a recipe for burnout.
But small things truly add up. I guarantee you that 15 minutes of service a day or one hour of service a week will make a big difference in your life. Look at your screen time. I bet you’ve got a few minutes to spare. Heck, there’s good you can do right from your phone: reading labels and signs for the blind, writing your senator, texting a friend.
The best help you can give is probably much closer than you realize. I believe the most impactful service you give is right in your home, and then in your neighborhood, your city. You can be part of the ripple effect of service. And the research shows that face-to-face acts of kindness are especially good at lowering levels of loneliness and isolation.
- Serve and love your family. Make your home a safe and loving place.
- Pick up trash on the street. Help your neighbors out when they move, or are sick, or mourning.
- Serve in your local soup kitchen, shelters, immigration support center, or adopt a trail.
I took my girls to the local food pantry last week and it was hilarious, but so good for us—and (hopefully) others!
The goal isn’t to overwhelm you. It’s to give you options that align with your values and resources. Find a cause that speaks to you and then give yourself a budget for the time, energy, or money you can give. For example, you might decide you can volunteer one hour each week with a good cause, or you can spend $20 a month helping others.
This is what changing the world looks like. Each person doing small things to make their home and neighborhood a better place.
Join #TeamWater to Take Action for Service and Your Nervous System
I hope you’ve got some great ideas already about how you’re going to add small acts of goodness to your week. Here’s one you can do today. Millions of people around the globe suffer with diseases like cholera and typhoid because they drink contaminated water. Women and girls spend hours each day carrying water to survive, which prevents them from going to school or getting employment.
So I’ve joined other creators to promote Team Water. Our big push is to raise $40M to bring clean water to 2 million people around the world. You can make a difference today, 1 dollar brings clean water to one person for a year! If you’d like to donate, you can go to www.teamwater.org. And if you click over in the next month to the YouTube video I did on this topic, give it a like or a comment and I’ll donate 25 cents to Team Water.
Giving a dollar or two might feel small, but it’s still a way to take meaningful action. It’s just like swinging your feet out of bed in the morning to fight depression. Action is how you break out of freeze and overwhelm. Even when you’re struggling and your own stream feels dry, sending a little water toward someone else might just get your own current moving again. Start small. Write a kind note. Check in on a friend. Donate to a cause you care about. These might seem small, but they add up over time. They’re signals to your nervous system that say, “We’re not trapped. We’re alive. We can flow.”
I truly, truly believe that we, that you and I can make a difference in the world, and I’m so grateful for this chance to do so with you.
