She hid alone in the dark, in her closet and she cried. She prayed to God, Why Me? Haven’t I been through enough? I can’t handle it. I just can’t. It’s too much. But God was quiet.
She was angry. She was confused. Everything felt out of control. All that she had worked so hard for in her life seemed to be slipping through her fingers. She was always a survivor. She was tough. But she didn’t feel any of that today. Today she just felt tired. Physically and emotionally tired.
She had so many questions, there were so many unknowns. Truth be told, she was scared. And where God had been her guide in the past, she felt His absence now. Or did she? Was He here? Did this have a purpose? Was He trying to tell her something? She was reluctant because this would be her hardest journey yet. But she realized something.
If God asked her to bear this burden so her children didn’t have to, would she? Yes, of course, in a heartbeat. If God asked if He could use her as an instrument to teach others, to change the world one person at a time, would she help, even if it was hard? Yes, she would let God make her an instrument of His work. If God asked, do you trust Me, would she balk? She’d gulp. She’d take a long deep breath. She’d cry a little. But she’d say yes.
Because trusting God is the hardest when you don’t know what His plan is for you. Blind Faith is the deepest faith because it truly means letting go and letting Him be in charge. Letting Him lead you and trusting He is there, He’s got this. It is the truest test of faith, and the deepest love you can give Him.
She knows now that she can do this. Yep it’s going to be scary. And maybe painful. And there are going to be a lot of unknowns. But He knows. And she trusts Him.