If you feel sluggish, numb, depressed, or burnt out, your nervous system might be stuck in the freeze response. In this post I’ll teach you 7 tiny habits that activate energy, restore safety, and help your body move up the Polyvagal Ladder. These simple, science-backed steps help you feel more alive, more motivated, and more like yourself again.
How Trauma in the Nervous System Pushes You Down the Polyvagal Ladder
Hello everyone. First, you’ve got to understand the Polyvagal Ladder to know how these microhabits will help you. So, our nervous system has 3 main states. The ventral vagal is where we feel safe, connected, and flexibly able to get energized but also able to rest. The second state is the sympathetic state, where we’re more anxious, activated, stressed or fearful. And the third state is called the dorsal vagal state, which is when our brain and body are so overwhelmed that we shut down, both mentally and physically. You might feel depressed, burnt out, exhausted, hopeless, frozen or unmotivated. Usually this state is triggered by intense trauma, chronic stress, or overwhelming situations. Even if it’s just your mind cranking out negative thoughts over and over for years, that can trigger depression or the dorsal vagal state. It’s as if your nervous system is saying, “I can’t overcome this, so I might as well stop trying and conserve my energy.” And this happens on a physiological level: your heart rate slows, blood pressure drops, and maybe your appetite changes.
To be technical about it, the freeze response falls near the bottom of the sympathetic state on the polyvagal ladder. In this state you might feel really stressed out and paralyzed. Then, underneath that, in the dorsal vagal state usually you feel tired, exhausted, and unmotivated. A lot of people use these terms—freeze response and dorsal vagal shutdown—interchangeably, so I’m going to do that as well.
These physical changes and lack of energy are not your fault, but there is something you can do about it. So let’s talk about daily habits that can help you get unstuck from the freeze response.
But first…
Two Core Principles to Move Out of the Freeze Response
When you’ve tried to change in the past, there’s probably two things you’ve tried over and over that backfire.
Number one. Yelling at yourself: “You’re such a loser!” “If you stay in bed, everything is going to get worse and worse!” You might think that you’re motivating yourself, but it usually backfires. Here’s why.
When you berate yourself, you’re not creating safety for yourself. When we’re stuck in a freeze state, it’s stress and overwhelm that are pushing us down the ladder into exhaustion and shutdown. We can’t climb back up the ladder by stressing ourselves out more. Instead you need to restore your sense of safety and remind yourself that you’re capable and loved—and I’ll teach you some ways to do this on a physiological level. And then the nervous system will naturally respond by re-energizing. You can’t hate yourself into being happier.
And here’s the second key: when you’re stuck in depression or the freeze response, one of the most common patterns I see is ‘waiting until you feel like it’, as in “I don’t want to go to see my friends until I’m feeling better,” “I’m not going to get out of bed until I feel motivated,” etc., etc. And so we get stuck in inaction because we want our mood to change first, and then we’ll take action. But that’s not how the brain works. It’s not how dopamine, the motivation chemical, works. Dopamine follows action. Mood follows action. You take action and then you get motivated. You spend time with friends and then you feel better. So for these micro habits to work, you have to start to do tiny things that help get you moving, and up-regulate your sense of safety and movement.
So this is the two-pronged approach we’re going to take: restoring a sense of safety while increasing activation. This will help you move up the polyvagal ladder so you’re more flexibly able to have better energy, to feel less stressed out, and to get stuff done. I know it can feel really hard to do, so let’s start tiny. Are you ready for the 7 Micro Habits? Here we go!
Habit 1: Fix Your Posture to Activate the Nervous System After Freeze
As you’re watching this video, how is your posture?
Go ahead and sit a little taller right now. Head up. Roll your shoulders back a little. Notice how that feels. And I don’t just mean how it feels physically. Do you notice any change, even a small one, in how you feel emotionally? A tiny shift in posture can create a ripple effect in how you feel overall.
Why? Just getting moving, or holding your head high sends a message to your nervous system that you are capable of handling just this moment. So if you’re lying in bed right now, sit up in bed instead. Getting upright and holding your head up helps your nervous system activate. Raise your gaze: look up, not down. Put your feet on the floor and stand upright. Anything that gets you more vertical helps your brain feel safer, more competent.
So the first micro habit is activating. This next one helps both restore safety and get you activated.
Habit 2: Morning Light Helps Repair Trauma in the Nervous System
The light that enters our eyes sends a message to our brain about how much energy to have. Our primal ancestors knew that a bright sunny day was a great day to go out and chase some woolly mammoths, and a cold rainy day was a good day to stay in the cave and conserve energy. Light exposure is one of the simplest and most scientifically proven ways to improve mood, energy, focus, and sleep. When your eyes take in light, your brain releases en ergizing neurotransmitters. Research shows that it can improve metabolic health, lower blood pressure, and support immune function. And guess what? All of this helps regulate emotions. So how should you do it?
- Try to get 10–20 minutes of natural sunlight within the first hour of waking — ideally outside, without sunglasses (but never staring directly at the sun). If it’s cloudy, stay out a bit longer — diffuse daylight still counts.
- Open your blinds in your home and turn on more lights. We weren’t meant to be indoors under artificial lights all day.
- And if you live somewhere that’s dark in winter, or if you’re experiencing depression, consider a 10,000 lux light therapy lamp. Large, high quality studies have shown light therapy to be one of the most powerful antidepressants.
Getting plenty of light exposure helps prime your brain to be more active and feel more safe. OK, on to #3.
Habit 3: Use Heat and Cold to Break the Freeze Response
Temperature can wake up your system, helping you be more alert and alive.
- Sip a warm drink. Holding a warm cup, noticing the sensation, and taking one slow sip can give your body a cue of comfort and presence.
Or if you’d like something a bit more activating…
- Wash your face in cold water. Or, with doctor supervision, consider cold plunges. The cold water triggers a bunch of positive effects from slowing the heart rate, to expanding your window of tolerance.
- If the idea of a cold plunge seems a bit much, try experimenting a little with temperature in the shower. You could take a hot shower and just notice how the water feels on your skin, or gradually switch the temperature up and down to watch your body get more alert and activated. Heat and cold can help your nervous system get unstuck from freeze.
And I want to mention that it’s often the case that to go from dorsal vagal, the shutdown response, to safe and connected, we have to go through activation. That’s one of the reasons temperature changes can help.
Habit 4: Vagus Nerve Reset for Depression, Burnout, and Shutdown
The vagus nerve has a lot to do with the connection between mind and body. When activated it can help your nervous system calm down. Here are two easy ways to do that:
- Hum or sigh. Your vagus nerve loves vibration. Humming, singing a little tune, or even letting out a long sigh stimulates regulation—without needing lots of energy. You can let out a long “fog horn” breath, a long sigh, or just hum. Try it and see how it feels.
- Massage your face. Your vagus nerve runs all through your face. Gently stimulate it by massaging around your eyes, stroking your forehead, tapping your cheeks. Maybe you’ve noticed that when people are stressed, they naturally do this. It’s because this vagus nerve stimulation sends messages to your nervous system that, “Here, in this moment, I’m safe enough.”
If you’d like to learn more ways to turn on that calming response in your nervous system, check out my How to Process Trauma online course. It’s included as part of the Therapy in a Nutshell membership. I’ll link that below.
Habit 5: Use Structured Routines to Support a Traumatized Nervous System
For many people, their worst time of day is the morning. You might feel so overwhelmed or frozen in the morning that you can’t get out of bed or can’t get yourself going. You’ll most likely benefit from some structure to get through this time.
So for example, my friend Rachael, struggled with paralyzing anxiety in the mornings. She had such a hard time getting out of bed. So she arranged to have her mom call her every morning at 9 am, and her goal was to be out of bed and sitting up in a chair when her mom called. This structure helped her get moving when she was drowning in anxiety. She also got a dog, and the dog helps her get outside and on a walk each morning. That’s been one of the most helpful things for her to break the cycle of being stuck in bed.
How can you set a structure around your worst times? Here are a few examples:
Pick one tiny thing you always do when you wake up—no decisions needed—and then do it.
- Drink a glass of water on your nightstand.
- Sit up and open the blinds.
You can make this easier by making decisions the night before-
- Lay out clothes the night before.
- Have the same breakfast every morning (like overnight oats or a smoothie packet).
- Keep meds, supplements, or a toothbrush visible where you’ll see them first thing.
Make it easier to get yourself out of bed.
- Keep a robe or hoodie right next to your bed so you’re warm when you stand up.
- If mornings are especially hard, move your alarm across the room and set it to play some upbeat music or a funny or encouraging podcast.
Now maybe mornings aren’t your problem. Maybe it’s nighttime. Whenever it is, plan something small to help you get through that time of day, even if it’s just setting a reminder on your phone that you are loved.
Habit 6: Combat the Negativity Filter that Fuels Depression
Restore balance to the force. Depression drains your energy and constantly tells you, “Why bother? Everything is awful. It’s all pointless!” When we are constantly exposed to these thoughts it sends a message to our nervous system that the best option is to just shut down and conserve energy, a.k.a. the freeze response.
If we want to restore a sense of safety and freedom, we need to actively combat our negativity bias and look for the good. Here are a few ways to do that:
- Limit negative stimuli such as the news, negative people, even opening your email or looking around your messy house. For now, we’re going to filter out these negative stimuli. So close the door to a messy room, cover up your sink with a towel. Disorganization and negative inputs can feel overwhelming, which is why we’re going to address just one of them at a time.
- Intentionally seek out stuff that brings you good energy.
- It might be a group chat where you and your sisters share funny memes.
- You could follow good news channels, like That Good News Girl.
- A simple gratitude practice. Write down 3 things you’re grateful for every day.
- Or take a photo and send it to someone each morning
- One of the things that can truly bring the most happiness is to find someone to help. Look for a way to take action that adds just a little love or joy to the world. That might look like saying hi to someone on the street, petting the neighbor’s dog, or sending an “I love you” text. Or, I walk down the sidewalk and pull a few weeds or pick up a piece of trash. That makes my day incrementally better.
Noticing the good, or being the good in the world, helps restore your sense of safety and can move you up the ladder.
Habit 7: Get Real Rest to Escape the Freeze Response
One of the biggest problems with modern life is that most of us are so dang busy all the time. Busyness keeps us on high alert and stuck in the sympathetic state. This can be exhausting which then triggers the dorsal vagal state. In order to restore our energy and sense of safety, we need to create a sustainable approach to work and rest. Schedule in time to heal and restore.
- True rest looks different for everyone. For me it’s hiking or tinkering in my garage. For others it’s taking a nap or coloring. Find what fills your soul.
- It’s not stress that’s the problem—it’s chronic stress. So have clear on/off times for work and rest. Have a ritual to disconnect when you go home from work, take email off your phone, turn off notifications, etc.
- Be careful about distraction. True rest helps your nervous system recharge and restore. Screen time often just distracts you while keeping your nervous system stressed.
- Practicing mindfulness can help you expand your capacity to rest.
- Multitasking is your enemy. Look it up. Doing one thing at a time can be soothing.
Bonus Habit: Use Scent to Spark Energy When You’re Stuck in Freeze Response
OK, maybe I’m getting carried away with all the advice, but I have a bonus tip for you. Scents are a super pleasant way to get activated. Orange zest, aromatherapy oils, or even a strong peppermint can help your senses wake up, and help you get an initial boost.
So there you have it. 7 micro habits to help you get unstuck from freeze or dorsal vagal state.
And if you’d like to give the gift of calm to someone you care about, send them the link to my FREE Grounding Skills course. They don’t have to sign up for a membership, and it gives access to 15 simple lessons to soothe stress, PTSD, and anxiety in the body.
Click the picture below to access the free Grounding Skills Course
