My wish for the world is that everyone who is in crisis can have someone in person to talk with them and help them create a crisis safety plan- but I understand that isn’t reality.
So in this post, I’m going to walk you through the steps for creating a safety plan. We’re going to figure out some resources you can use if you’re having a crisis.
And this is important because when we’re super emotional, we don’t think very clearly. It’s really hard to remember the people who love us or the things that make us feel better. So we’re going to write this down so that you can remember it if you need it.
A Crisis Safety Plan
OK, but first, if you’re having thoughts of suicide, you’re not alone, many people have a suicidal thought at some point in their lives. And it’s not a sign of weakness or a sign that you’re crazy. It’s probably that your pain has become greater than your resources to cope, so let’s add in some resources for you ok?
You might think that you have no options left, and suicide is the only way to escape, but that’s not true. Depression is a liar, and there are so many options, probably many that you don’t even know about, that can help you.
People do get through this, even when they’re feeling as bad as you do now. It can get better. But we’ve gotta get through this moment to be able to learn the stuff that’s going to help you in the long run.
A safety plan is a structured plan that helps someone manage suicidal thoughts and stay safe during a crisis. It includes warning signs, coping strategies, and support contacts. Let’s work through this together. You can do this yourself with the Free App- Suicide Safety Plan it’s anonymous. Or you can print out the documents below:
Personal Safety Plan
Step 1: Warning Signs
What are my personal warning signs that I’m struggling and need to take action? Here are some common ones:
- Feeling hopeless, numb, or worthless
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Increased thoughts of death or self-harm
- Feeling like a burden to others
- Not taking care of basic needs (eating, sleeping, hygiene)
- Thoughts like “I can’t do this anymore” or “Everyone would be better off without me”
- Using alcohol or drugs to cope
Step 2: Coping Strategies
What can I do on my own to help me feel even a little bit better?
Step 3: People & Social Support
Who can I reach out to when I’m struggling? Let’s make a list. A quick reminder, friends and family want to help. Keeping a struggling friend safe in the moment is not a burden.
It’s important to connect with these people before you’re in crisis if possible. My editor Mary said “my friend who had suicidal thoughts for a few years opened up to me about it in a non-crisis moment. I asked how I could help, and she said a nightly check-in by text would be good. I’d text, she’d respond in a few words how she was doing. In a few crisis moments, she would message first and ask me to remind her that she could get through it. She lives [a few hours away], and I know she had another friend who was local who also checked on her. A couple of times, she asked that friend, as previously arranged, to just come sit with her and hold her hand. It helped her feel like she had someone anchoring her to her body so she could stay in this life.”
Having spoken with people who’ve lost friends or family to suicide, I know that so many of them wish their person had told them, reached out, and allowed them to love them. I know this can be pretty vulnerable, uncomfortable, but it’s worth it. Don’t listen to depression’s lies, that you’re a burden. It’s not true.
- Friends/Family I Can Call or Text:
- Support Groups or Online Communities:
Step 4: Professional Support
Who are the professionals I can contact for help?
- Therapist: [Name] – [Phone Number]
- Doctor/Psychiatrist: [Name] – [Phone Number]
- Crisis Hotline: (In the US)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) – Dial 988
- Crisis Text Line – Text “HELLO” to 741741
- Local Emergency Services: 911
Step 5: Removing Access to Harmful Means
What can I do to make it harder to act on impulsive thoughts? Sometimes big intense feelings make it really hard to think clearly, so we want to just delay taking any action until we’ve had time to calm down, think clearly and get support. In England over 80 years ago, the gas used in stoves made it easy for people to end their lives, when they changed the type of gas, suicides decreased by 30%.
Other methods of suicide did not increase proportionally, meaning many people who might have died by this method did not substitute with another method. What’s happening is that if we can delay suicide attempts, people have a chance to get feeling better, your life can improve dramatically. So here are some ways to delay that impulsivity.
- Give someone I trust my medications, sharp objects, or anything I could use to harm myself
- Avoid alcohol or drugs, as they can make me feel worse
- Stay around others instead of isolating – This might look like going to a coffee shop instead of isolating in your home, or asking a friend or family member to come stay with you for a while.
Step 6: Reasons for Living
What are the things, even small ones, that make life worth staying for?
- My pet(s) who rely on me
- My favorite place that brings me peace
- The people who care about me (even if my brain tells me they don’t)
- The possibility of feeling better, even if I can’t see it now
- Small joys (sunsets, music, laughter, etc.)
Step 7: Emergency Plan
If I feel like I’m in immediate danger, what are my next steps?
- Call my crisis contact or 988 for immediate support.
- Reach out to a trusted friend or family member.
- Go to a safe place (friend’s house, ER, crisis center).
- If I can’t keep myself safe, I will call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
Having a safety plan can help keep you here until you can get the help to get feeling better. I know that depression is telling you that things will never get better but depression is a liar. Don’t listen to it. Let’s work through these small steps and little by little, with the help of friends and therapists and doctors, you really can get feeling better. The world is better with you in it and we would deeply feel your loss if you were gone. Please check out my other resources on depression, thousands of people have told me that it helped them when they were feeling overwhelmed with depression.
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