Have you ever felt a wave of panic, shame, or despair crash over you out of nowhere? Like your whole body is reacting to danger—but there is no actual threat in front of you? That may be an emotional flashback.
I like the work Pete Walker, M.A., M.F.T. has done in the field of emotional flashbacks and CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Keep reading for my take on his “13 Strategies in Times of Flashbacks”.
What Are Emotional Flashbacks in CPTSD?
An emotional flashback is not a memory that you see, like in a typical PTSD flashback. It’s a memory you feel. Your nervous system reacts as if you’re back in a terrifying or overwhelming situation, even if nothing dangerous is happening right now. In his book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker calls this amygdala hijacking, where you have a sudden visceral, emotional reaction that doesn’t seem to make sense in the situation. Emotional flashbacks are one of the hallmark symptoms of complex PTSD (CPTSD), a condition often caused by chronic childhood abuse, neglect, shaming, or emotional abandonment.
Pete Walker, a therapist and survivor of CPTSD, describes emotional flashbacks as a sudden, intense regression into the emotional state of a wounded inner child. You might not even know what sets it off. It could be a comment from a coworker, a scent, or even something as simple as feeling happy. Whatever the catalyst, it triggers an intense, overwhelming emotional state. You might feel small, worthless, or scared. You might get flooded with shame, or your body may freeze or shut down. You might feel completely hopeless, abandoned, alone. It’s like you’re reliving your most scary and helpless feelings from childhood. You probably aren’t even actively remembering a moment; it’s just that the feeling has returned.
Here’s the thing—this reaction is not your fault. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you based on past experiences. But you don’t have to stay stuck there. Pete Walker listed 13 powerful strategies to help you move through emotional flashbacks when you have them, which makes you more resilient. And the more you practice these strategies, the less likely you are to have emotional flashbacks. Let’s walk through them together.
Acknowledge the Emotional Flashback
1. Say to yourself, “I am having a flashback.”
This is your anchor, it can keep you grounded in the present moment. Naming the experience helps shift you from being the flashback to witnessing the flashback. Say it out loud or in your mind: “This is a flashback. I’m not in danger right now. This feeling is a memory.”
A flashback takes you into feelings and sensations that make you feel like you are helpless, hopeless, or surrounded by danger. By naming it, you create space between the feeling and your identity. You start to remember, This isn’t who I am—this is an emotional memory.
Grounding Techniques for CPTSD and PTSD
2. Remind yourself, “I feel afraid, but I am not in danger.”
This is a crucial distinction. Emotional flashbacks hijack your body with fear, even when there’s no real threat. So speak safety into your system. Try saying, “I’m safe right now. I’m in my living room. I have choices.”
Use your senses to ground you in the present. Look around the room. Feel the floor under your feet. Notice the light, the temperature, the sounds. You are not in the past. You are here now.
Holding Boundaries with CPTSD and Trauma Triggers
3. Own your right to have boundaries and say no.
Flashbacks often bring up deep fears of saying no, especially if you were punished or shamed for leaving a situation or speaking up. In the present, you have the right to set boundaries. You are free to leave or protest unfair behavior.
If something feels overwhelming or triggering, you can step away. You can pause. You can say no. Practice this now: “It’s okay for me to protect myself. I can take space. I say no to…” whatever is pressing on you: feeling rushed, believing that I’m bad, my own inner critic, or to something outside of me that is crossing my boundaries.
Inner Child Healing for Trauma Recovery
4. Speak reassuringly to your inner child.
Picture a small version of you—scared, hurt, maybe shaking. That part of you needs comfort. Try saying, “I see you. I know this is hard. I’m here for you. You’re not alone anymore.”
Use the same kindness you would show a frightened child. You are re-parenting yourself in this moment. The adult You speaks to your inner child with unconditional love and reassurance. “I love you. I know we can get through this.”
CPTSD Flashbacks are Temporary
5. Understand that flashbacks are time-limited.
Flashbacks feel like they’ll last forever—but they won’t. Your nervous system will eventually come back to baseline.
You can say to yourself: “This will pass. I’ve been through this before and I made it through. I can ride the wave.”
Visualize the emotion like a storm cloud. It rolls in, and it will also roll out. This isn’t a catastrophe, it’s just a passing storm. It might be a very loud storm, or feel like a downpour, but it will ebb and dry up. Also, sometimes the rain can be helpful. (More on that later.)
Making Adult Choices for Trauma Recovery
6. Remind yourself that you are in an adult body.
Pete Walker says, “Feeling small and fragile is a sign of a flashback”. But now you’re an adult. You have allies, skills, and resources to protect you that you never had as a child. This includes things like having your own money and living where you want. You can choose to stay in or leave relationships. You can make your own choices, sign your own documents, speak up for what’s right, and write your own story. Your trauma might have been the beginning of your story, but you get to pick it up right here and write the victorious ending.
CPTSD Grounding – Reconnect With Your Body
7. Ease back into your body.
Grounding helps bring your body and brain back to the present. Try these simple techniques:
- Scan your body. Starting at your feet, tense each muscle group and then relax. Walker says, “Tight muscles send false danger signals to your brain.” So when you control that tension and purposely relax the muscles, it cues your brain to feel safe.
- Breathe slowly and allow your stomach to soften. Holding your breath also signals danger, but soft, slow breathing signals safety.
- Slow down. Rushing presses your brain’s flight-response button. Going slow sends the message that you are confident and safe.
- Drop the struggle against your sensations. Feel the fear in your body without reacting to it. Pete says “Fear is just an energy in your body. It cannot hurt you if you do not run from it.” Get curious about those sensations. Allow them to be there. Turn up your willingness dial to be right where you are. When you lean in and allow yourself to feel, you’ll start to build confidence in your ability to handle emotional flashbacks.
You can learn these reconnection skills for free with my free online course, “Grounding Skills for Stress, Anxiety and PTSD”, where you’ll learn to regulate your nervous system.
Challenge the Inner Critic During PTSD Flashbacks
8. Resist the inner critic’s drastic or hopeless narratives.
Flashbacks often come with a wave of hopeless thoughts: “I’ll never get better” or “No one will ever love me” or “I’m a complete failure”. These are emotional distortions. You don’t have to believe them.
Say to yourself, “This is temporary. My brain is overwhelmed right now. I will think more clearly when I’m calm.”
And if you want to feel even more powerful against your inner critic, Pete says to channel the anger of self-attack into saying “No!” to your critic’s unfair self-criticism.
Replace the self-criticism with a narrative about your own goodness and worth. Make a note in your phone of your qualities and accomplishments so in the heat of the moment you can remind yourself of your own goodness. Don’t allow yourself to believe your inner critic’s attacks.
Follow Your Body’s Cues for PTSD Recovery
9. Allow yourself to grieve.
Flashbacks often connect to deep wells of unprocessed grief—losses you couldn’t feel safely as a child. A flashback is a great opportunity to work through these feelings from a new place of compassion and strength. It’s okay to let yourself cry. It’s okay to feel sorrow.
Grieving is not weakness. It can be part of healing. Say to yourself, “These feelings make sense. I’m allowed to feel them.”
You might want to write, cry, draw, or speak aloud. What is your body calling for? Let your body express what it couldn’t before.
After a flashback, your system is tender. This is the time for nourishment, not judgment. Ask yourself:
- What would feel gentle right now?
- What’s one kind thing I can do for myself?
Maybe it’s wrapping up in a blanket, listening to calming music, eating something warm, or taking a quiet walk.
You can also intentionally speak loving thoughts to yourself. “I’m proud of how I took care of myself just now. That was hard—and I stayed with it.”
Reach Out to a Safe Person for Trauma Recovery
10. Cultivate safe relationships and seek support.
In a flashback, you might feel like no one can help, or you might push others away. Shame is so isolating. But healing happens in safe connection. So who helps you feel calm and grounded?
Call or text someone who understands. Or simply imagine a trusted friend or therapist sitting with you, reminding you you’re not alone.
Any form of safe connection combats shame. Telling someone, even a pet or God, how you’re really feeling can help you talk your way through your feelings and restore your sense of safety.
How to Prevent Emotional Flashbacks in CPTSD
These last three steps are long-term strategies that will decrease the frequency and intensity of flashbacks over time.
Identify Your Triggers for CPTSD Flashbacks
11. Learn to identify triggers.
Flashbacks are often triggered by subtle cues: a tone of voice, a facial expression, a conflict, a smell. The more you learn what triggers you, the more you can respond with care and self-awareness. This is more about preparation than avoidance.
Keep a journal or note on your phone where you track the following:
- What happened right before the flashback?
- What emotions or sensations came up?
- What did it remind you of?
This will help you recognize patterns and plan ahead with strategies.
Explore the Root of Your Emotional Flashback
12. Figure out what you are flashing back to.
Remember what I said with #5 about how we sometimes need the rain? Flashbacks provide an opportunity to discover, validate, and heal your wounds. They can point you to unmet needs, or skills that you haven’t developed yet. They give you a (loud) chance to work through something.
Maybe we think about this like old food in a fridge. Let’s say your fridge is so full of old takeout containers that one day you open the fridge and one falls out onto your foot and explodes stinky, moldy food all over the floor. Unpleasant? Absolutely. But it’s also a great, visceral prompt that it’s time to face the chore of cleaning out your fridge. You bring the trash can over and start sorting through all the garbage. Maybe you need to ask for someone to help you. By the time you’re done, you’re a little tired, but your fridge is clean and ready to use again.
Sometimes we have to open up old memories or feelings to process them and let them move on. Be gentle with yourself through this process. Sometimes the kitchen gets smelly and the disposal gets clogged in this process, and that’s ok—it’s just part of the process. You can open up the windows and doors and get some fresh air (and new take out) when you’re done.
Patience Is Key in Trauma Healing
13. Be patient with your process.
After yet another painful flashback, you might be thinking: “I should be able to stop these by now! What’s the matter with me?”
I think it’s normal to wish that you didn’t have to feel this way anymore, but working through flashbacks is a process. It can take time for that nervous system activation, and the physical response of adrenaline and cortisol pumping through your veins, to wind down. As you practice responding with gentleness and self-compassion, the frequency and intensity of these flashbacks will decrease.
This process can take time. Some days you might feel like you’re making progress, but other days you feel like you’re slipping backwards.
Give yourself grace. This is a normal part of learning. When you respond with compassion, grounding, and boundaries, you’re rewiring your nervous system. You’re showing your body: I’m safe now. I don’t have to live in survival mode forever.
Over time, these responses become habits. The flashbacks get shorter. Your sense of self gets stronger. You reclaim your life.
Instead of beating yourself up, Say to yourself: “This was hard—and I showed up for myself. I’m healing.”
Emotional Flashbacks and CPTSD – Building Resilience in Recovery
Healing from CPTSD is not a straight path, or an endless cycle—it’s an upward spiral. Sometimes we revisit old pain as we grow. But each time you use these tools, you’re building resilience. You’re not alone in this.
You’re learning to respond instead of react, to comfort instead of criticize. And to stay present with yourself through the storm.
That’s recovery. One moment, one flashback, one act of kindness at a time.
You’ve got this.
Pete Walker’s “13 Steps Flashback Management”
For more, check out Pete Walker’s full guide to managing emotional flashbacks at pete-walker.com.
